Thursday, 31 January 2013
Do you want to do it now?
"Fat." The word sputters out of the head cheerleaders mouth as she trips you. You fall to the floor pain shooting up your right leg. "Oh I'm sorry." She laughs. "Is your fatness weighing you down?" No one bothers to help you up. They pass by with a straight face heading to their next case, like you didn't exist. With teary eyes, you limp from your spot. You're so done. All you want to do is die. You walk home knowing that no one would be home when you'd get there. You were like a zombie stumbling into your house and falling to the floor. Sobbing. Crying. That feeling of hopelessness filling every part of your body like it does most days. But today is different. You're so sick of everyone's bullshit. The tears stop and you slowly walk to the garage, getting some rope. You walk to your bedroom tying the rope to the ceiling fan. You grab a camera and turn it on. You apologize to everyone you can think of. Even if you hate them. "Goodbye." You mutter getting up on top of the chair and wrapping the rope around your neck. You put one foot off the chair and turn the camera off. As soon as you know it's off, you close your eyes and jump.
Your sisters open the door of the house. It's too quiet. After school you're usually listening to music. She calls out your name looking around the downstairs portion of your house. She walks upstairs seeing your door cracked open. She carefully calls your name heading into your room. She stops dead in her tracks seeing your lifeless body hanging there. She screams your name, pounding on your bodu praying that you'll wake up. But you don't. You're dead. It's too late. She manages to pull out her phone and call the ambulance. "Hello. My sister commit suicide."
Your best friend, sister, and your parents are in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for the news they knew was coming. The doctor walks out and says. "I'm sorry. Your daughter is dead." Your dad is crying. He never cries. Your mom and sister don't know what to do. They're shocked. You're best friend passes out. Two weeks have gone by. Your funeral was sad. Everyone at your high school went thinking about what they could've done to save you. Everyone who was in the hallway that day know they should've helped you up. The head cheerleader knows everything was her fault. She was the bully. Your dad has to go back to work even though he's hit rock bottom and is so depressed. Your mom cries every day. All she does is stare out the window wondering if her baby girl will ever come back. Your sister has began to cut herself. Just like you, she has no one to talk to. She feels it was her fault you died. The head cheerleader is starving herself to feel the pain you felt everyday. She knows it was her fault. Oh. And your best friend? She killed herself too. You were her only friend and once she died. She had no one. Now do you still want to kill yourself?
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